Guiding Students in the Art of Requesting Recommendations
A lesson on letters of recommendation is so much more than just a lesson on letters of recommendation. Yes, the primary objective is to prepare students to request, obtain, submit, and store letters of recommendation for academic programs, employment opportunities, or other endeavors.
However, this topic also opens the door to meaningful discussions about the nuances of social interaction, especially in professional settings. Navigating the social complexities of our world is a challenge for teenagers and young adults (and humans, in general).
Your students might be neurodivergent. Or introverted. There may be cultural differences that are causing misunderstandings. Your students may lack experience in professional settings, be unfamiliar with social cues, have issues with authority, experience nerves or anxiety—the list goes on.
The point is, while teaching students about letters of recommendation, we also have an opportunity to help them build valuable social skills.
Breaking Down the Lesson Plan
In recent years, the use of letters of recommendation for college admissions has faced increased scrutiny due to concerns about bias and inequity, inconsistent access to recommenders, and confidentiality and privacy issues.
Despite these challenges, students will likely still need letters of recommendation to achieve their educational or professional goals. I aim to equip my students with the knowledge and skills necessary for this process, which includes understanding who to ask, what to request, when to reach out, where to store the letters, and how to follow up with their recommenders.
This involved process of securing letters of recommendation requires a blend of both technical knowledge and social skills.
Understanding the Basics
If you're interested in tackling this topic, I recommend starting with an introduction to the basic elements of a letter of recommendation. Your students may have never seen a letter of recommendation before, so providing a few samples may be helpful.
Students might need letters for educational or training programs, job applications, scholarships, clubs, or activities. However, there are times when a letter of recommendation might be detrimental to an application, such as if it’s unsolicited, the recommender’s role isn’t relevant, the tone is unflattering or negative, or the letter is outdated.
5 key elements of a solid letter of recommendation.
Who to Ask
Next, you’ll want to guide students on who is best suited to write a letter of recommendation. Ideal choices include teachers, coaches, employers, club leaders, mentors, supervisors, and volunteer coordinators. Family members, friends, peers, or unqualified individuals should be avoided, if possible.
There are interesting factors for students to consider here. Popular teachers often receive numerous letter requests. Should students look for someone else? Or ask early to get to the head of the line?
Relevance is another issue. A student might have a strong relationship with their soccer coach, but if they're applying for an engineering internship, can the coach address more than just athletic ability? For example, could they ask the coach to focus on skills like teamwork, communication, creativity, and persistence?
The recommender's role can also convey additional information about the applicant. This isn't necessarily negative, but students should be aware of the message they are sending.
For example, a letter from a pastor might convey religious practices, a letter from a probation officer might reveal prior decisions or experiences, or a letter from a volunteer coordinator might highlight political or personal priorities. The goal is to teach students to be mindful of the information their letters of recommendation communicate with respect to the opportunity they are applying for.
Timing and Tact
This is a great opportunity to dive into some important social norms!
When should students ask for a letter? Ideally, at least 4-6 weeks before the application deadline. I also teach students to utilize a “soft deadline.” For example, a student might explain, “The letter is due to the university on January 15th; however, if you are able to send it to me by January 10th, that will give me a few days to organize and submit my materials before the deadline.”
Students also need to understand how to give a respectful reminder if they haven’t received the requested letter. I walk them through the elements of a "polite" and "gentle" reminder, showing them an example that illustrates how to:
Start with a friendly greeting.
Acknowledge the person’s busy schedule.
Use softening phrases like "quick reminder," "just wanted to check in," or "touching base."
Always say "please" and "thank you."
Offer flexibility or assistance.
Teach students how simple phrases can soften a reminder about deadlines.
The Ask
This lesson on Letters of Recommendation also delves into the practical aspects of making a request. Should students ask in person, by phone, or via email? Each method has its pros and cons.
For example, asking in person feels more personal and respectful but may be difficult if the recommender is very busy or hard to reach. Email requests are convenient and give the recommender flexibility to respond, but they can seem impersonal. Phone requests strike a balance, though they might catch the recommender at an inconvenient time.
The lesson includes examples of both appropriate and inappropriate requests, helping students understand the best practices for each method.
Ready-to-use lesson and activities to help students request letters of recommendation.
Providing Information
Students will likely need guidance on what to provide to their recommender. First, they should communicate details about the program or job they are applying for, along with the due date and submission instructions for the letter. They should also provide a brag sheet or resume.
The brag sheet should emphasize their achievements, skills, and experiences, helping the recommender to craft a detailed, personalized letter. Here is a free template for a student brag sheet to jumpstart the process, along with a professional version applicable to their future career endeavors.
It's best practice to update a brag sheet at least once a year, if not more regularly, while activities and accomplishments are fresh in their memory. However, many students struggle to identify and articulate their strengths. If your students need extra support in recognizing the soft skills that make them strong candidates—like communication, adaptability, and problem-solving—my Soft Skills Puzzle Set can help. These engaging word games introduce key vocabulary essential for success in postsecondary education and employment, reinforcing the language they’ll need for applications, interviews, and beyond.
Students may also want to consider providing specific points they'd like the recommender to address (as in the soccer coach example above) to boost the letter's relevance and effectiveness.
Some recommenders may prefer that the applicant draft a letter for them to revise, personalize, and sign. Students should approach this carefully—they don’t want to make their recommender uncomfortable or seem presumptuous by writing their own letter. Instead, they should frame it as an offer, emphasizing their respect for the recommender’s time and making it clear that the recommender has full editing control to make the letter their own.
Follow Up
Once a student receives their letter of recommendation, the final critical step is the follow-up or the thank you. This isn't just a mere formality; it's an opportunity to express sincere gratitude and reinforce positive professional relationships. A well-crafted thank-you note can leave a lasting impression and reinforce connections. Encourage students to send their thank-you notes promptly, showing appreciation for their recommender’s time and support.
A good thank you note should be personalized, expressing genuine appreciation for the time and effort the recommender invested. It should be concise yet heartfelt, mentioning specific aspects of the letter or the relationship that were particularly meaningful. Students should also take the opportunity to reaffirm their excitement for the opportunity and their commitment to making the most of it. Encourage them to send their thank-you notes via email or traditional mail, depending on what the recommender would prefer.
Use this opportunity to introduce students to the concept of networking. Explain the value of developing a professional network and maintaining positive relationships. Stress that effective networking is reciprocal; it's important to contribute as much to the network as they receive from it. Encourage students to nurture their professional connections by offering support, guidance, and assistance to others in their network. By fostering strong relationships, students can expand their opportunities and thrive in their academic and professional pursuits.
Big Picture
Teaching students how to request letters of recommendation goes beyond securing a necessary document—it’s about equipping them with essential professional and social skills. By delving into the intricacies of requesting recommendations, you're providing students with a crash course in professional interactions and the subtle nuances of social etiquette.
If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve created a comprehensive lesson plan. It includes a detailed presentation with speaker notes, a brainstorming activity to help students identify potential recommenders, sample request templates, an interactive exercise on decoding instructions, a guided activity for creating a brag sheet, and a customizable letter template. These resources will make the process engaging, structured, and accessible for students.
So, what are you waiting for? Let’s turn the daunting task of requesting a letter of recommendation into an opportunity to instill some valuable life skills.
Everything you need to teach students to navigate the realm of letters of recommendation.
